|what is wrong with me. It must be something in the water ; )
||[Sep. 20th, 2005|08:54 am]
I've been depressed lately. I don't know why couldn't tell ya at all. It could be so many things but the negative thoughts keep running through my head. Especially the question are my friends truly my friends and if they don't consider me a friend how can I change that. I'm not good at this. I never was. I want to be and I think this what God wants me to work on. So many things so little time. I have to say life can be weird in how it throws you around. The people that come into your life. I have to say I should have never opened the depression issue up. Either myself or satan has taken hold of it and wont let me let go. I just want peace and I don't even care if I'm not happy but I need peace in my life. |
I don't think God put me here with a big mission in life. I mean being a good parent and surviving what life throws at you is already a big challenge. The people around me need me and I just have to keep reminding myself of this.
3I thank my God every time I remember you. 4In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy 5because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now, 6being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.
7It is right for me to feel this way about all of you, since I have you in my heart; for whether I am in chains or defending and confirming the gospel, all of you share in God's grace with me. 8God can testify how I long for all of you with the affection of Christ Jesus.
9And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, 10so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless until the day of Christ, 11filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ—to the glory and praise of God.
Yes, and I will continue to rejoice, 19for I know that through your prayers and the help given by the Spirit of Jesus Christ, what has happened to me will turn out for my deliverance.[d] 20I eagerly expect and hope that I will in no way be ashamed, but will have sufficient courage so that now as always Christ will be exalted in my body, whether by life or by death. 21For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain. 22If I am to go on living in the body, this will mean fruitful labor for me. Yet what shall I choose? I do not know! 23I am torn between the two: I desire to depart and be with Christ, which is better by far; 24but it is more necessary for you that I remain in the body. 25Convinced of this, I know that I will remain, and I will continue with all of you for your progress and joy in the faith, 26so that through my being with you again your joy in Christ Jesus will overflow on account of me.